It has been a long time since I have posted anything, much less something that was really weighing on my heart. You see, the last few months have been emotionally and spiritually hard on me. God was (and is) really stretching me. Why, you ask?
God has convicted us about our taking control of when and how many children we want. We never used the pill or other abortaficient kinds, but even when we trying "natural family planning", was still putting our control on something He wanted control of. We allow God to access every other area of our lives, except that one. See, God loves children and commands us to be fruitful and multiply. He wants Godly offspring. Only since the last century or so has this been an issue. A hundred years ago, many families were large. I cant remember the exact year, but it was the late 1800's or early 1900's that the average family had 11 people...that's 9 children! I am around many large families that have given this area of their lives to God, and let me tell you...the kids are so great to be around! It's not that I even mind having a large family...I love them...My worry is how fast they will come!
But you know, this is what God has called me to. Some are called to be missionaries. Some to other ministries. But this is mine.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says:
19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
This decision was not easy. Obeying God is not easy. There have been many tears, and there will probably be more. But you know what else? There is peace. The peace of knowing that we are doing what God wants us to do. And I know that the rewards are great! Children are a blessing and a reward from Him! It easy to receive blessings in so many other areas of our lives, but this one is hard because its a lot of work and a lot of sacrifice on our part. But think of it this way, every time you conceive, you are carrying a child that is an image-bearer of God Almighty! A child who has the potential to carry the Gospel to places we can never go! More of His glory can fill the earth!
One book that is jam-packed with scripture and very good points is a book called "Do You Dare Trust God for Your Family Size? : Positively Yes!" by Hanna E. Farwell.
I am not saying I am 100% there. God has been especially gracious these past few months. It's so easy to say that I trust God or that "I surrender all"...but the past little while, it's been harder to say that and remain honest before God. He see us and knows our inadequacies. We are human and he understands that...but he also expects obedience to His word.
So this is where I am at. Pray for me. I love children, and I do desire them. But I also know that the work God has cut out for me will not be easy. But I trust that my faith will grow, my character will be refined, and God can receive more glory from my life.
Love you all!
3 comments:
I have traveled this road, and have been blessed beyond my wildest imagination. :)
Thank you for sharing right where you're at. It's something many of us have struggled with, and something that many of us still struggle with, again and again, for different reasons.
Thanks for being so vulnerable and honest.
Thank you both for your encouraging words. God has been gracious and has already shown me much while going through all of this. Thank you both.
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